There will always be questions in life. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t question stuff, be it yourself; others or just life in general
But I’ll tell you something; uncertain I am not. Never in my life have I been so sure of myself, secure in mind and body.
The stigma that is turning 30, particularly as a woman, I don’t know where it came from but I speak from experience when I tell you it is bullshit.
Yeah I have a couple of crows feet forming around my eyes but I adore them.
Because they are my battle scars; they are the hits I took and the will power I found to get back up. They are the reminder that everytime I’ve gone at something, I put everything into it, even if it did exhaust me, I gave it all.
They are all the times I laughed so hard I thought my lungs would collapse
They are all the times I cried, be it happy tears or sad ones. Tears mean you care. That makes you a warrior with heart.
They are all the times I’ve looked up and squinted through the sun to see things like the Eiffel Tower and Angkor Wat. Things that moved me.
They are all the late nights I’ve stayed up reading, talking to my loves about life on the phone, writing or just reflecting in general.
They are proof of a woman that backs herself.
I’d rather have stories about all the things that gave me those lines instead of crinkle free eyes that experienced nothing.
The story goes that once you hit 30, it’s all downhill. Honey, you have to know that this is just flat out bullshit.
My face now, tells a story of a rich life, one that I am proud of. My greatest fear in life never has been aging. My greatest fear is disappointing myself, looking back at my life as a old woman and wishing I’d done it differently. I just will not have that. I know at age 32, that just won’t happen. I am too experienced, I am too in tune to myself to ever mishear and ignore a desire when it arises.
I desired to travel. I travelled. I count 17 countries in just two years. SO FAR.
I desired a promotion, two months later, I got one.
I desired a freelance business, I did this whilst balancing my promotion.
I desired my relationships to be meaningful and loving. Every single person in my life knows how far I’d go for them.
In my 20s, I was a legal adult pretending to know how to adult. In my 30s, I care less about adulting and more about how I can get the people I care about still in their 20s to see just how brilliant they are, JUST as they are.
At age 32, I am fitter, healthier, wiser, happier, centred, fulfilled, driven and more self accepting than I’ve ever been in my lifetime.
You let go of everything you can’t control, everything that doesn’t serve you and you live by a set of priorities designed to centre your world and that of those around you.
If it disrupts the flow, you fuck it off, in the kindest sense possible cos, ain’t nobody got time for dat.
If there was anything I could tell my 20 year old self it would that “you were built to be tested. You’ve fucking got this”
Here’s to 8 more amazing years riding the big 3-0. If I can learn lessons of these proportions in just two years, I can’t imagine the type of wisdoms I will learn in the years to come. Fucking come at me bro.